I often forget that temptations happen for a reason, to try us, test us, and prove us. Temptations are also a form of chastisement or penance, and they offer us a chance to grow in virtue - and when that fails - in humility and self-knowledge.
.
I always figure if I go too long without temptation - something is off. The devil delights in complacency and self assurance... self satisfaction... self righteousness... all of the self-isms I imagine myself to be free of. He loves it when I watch 2-1/2 Men for instance - it's a nasty, dirty little sit-com, glorifying dysfunction, alcoholism, abuse and sexual immorality. The sex talk alone can be a near occasion of sin. But it is just a show, huh? I digress. I only mention it to point out that we just might be lolly-gagging around enough, drunk in our lukewarm satisfaction, peacefully free of any obvious temptations - because we're immersed in them.
.
Then when we decide to do something for Lent, or keep a black fast, change our life-style, or celebrate a religious feast day after a long arduous novena - or even just head out for Mass or confession - sometimes the devil sends out his swat team after us: these are Feast Day Devils. They can be as annoying as little flies we swat away over and over, sometimes getting more and more annoyed - to the point of distraction and/or actual sin; or they can be some great big naked person we noticed outside, sunbathing in the yard on our way home from Confession, Mass and adoration. (Many years ago that happened to me. LOL! If only I had just driven on instead of circling the block. No, nothing happened - it all took place in the heart. Mtt. 5: 27-28)
.
So anyway - when we try to do our best, we get tried. As Scripture says, "When you come to serve the Lord, prepare yourself for trials." Thus today many people who had the best intentions to observe Lent like a saint will perhaps find themselves sorely tempted to eat meat, break a fast, get drunk, smoke a cigarette, tell off a co-worker, or do whatever - that is just natural, common, plain ordinary temptation - it's part of the experience. It is an aspect of penance or ascesis. Sometimes it's the feast day devils, sometimes it is just the world or the flesh - and of course it can be all three at once. Penance isn't easy.
.
If worse comes to worse and we fall, fail, trip, sin, what have you - we can repent. God loves a humble and contrite heart more than our sacrifices. He approves the lowly and afflicted man, not the haughty Pharisee who does every thing right and knows every thing. Temptations help us to know what we are and teaches us to place our confidence in God. Others may have their works and virtues and knowledge and prayers and everything that is holy - we have our confidence in God.
.
Maybe just offer up your failures for Lent.
.
Art: Fernando Botero, Self-portrait First Communion Day
